


Resentment

by SamThySoul



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Future, M/M, Only one incident, Sorry Not Sorry, Violence, ish, not really that prominent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 14:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9552299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamThySoul/pseuds/SamThySoul
Summary: Oikawa doesn't know why he hates Tobio so much, and he hates it. What happens if after years he finally see's Kageyama again.





	

"Tobio-chan, long time no see. I trust my Kouhai's been practicing well." Oikawa taunted, upon seeing Kageyama. It had been effectively years. They had long since graduated from high school and when Oikawa had heard that they would be versing another team with a powerhouse setter, he had only one thought. " _Kageyama, Tobio_." As it turns out he was correct. His eagerness to see his Kouhai again would have been evident, had it not been pushed aside by much stronger emotions. Emotions he didn't want to think about, let alone express. It had been close enough when he was younger, they'd almost bested him, if it hadn't been for Iwaizumi, then they undoubtedly would have. He'd tried to make them go away. He didn't want them. What he wanted was to cast them off like the disgusting rotting mess they were, but no matter what he tried they seemed to be tightly bound to his soul. A constant reminder that he wasn't the person everyone thought he was. He was damaged, his soul was stained and he could never wash it clean.

It was over as soon as it began. Kageyama as efficient as ever and as for his opponent. It was a team that couldn't function because of a broken setter. He could see the questioning look in Tobio's eyes every time he made a set too high or too low, a set that Tobio clearly knew his Senpai was easily capable of. Oikawa pushed off the concern like a disease. He could feel his insides snapping, but he couldn't let it surface… at least not a second time. So he exited the gym, head held as high as it could be, a façade that was as real as he could make it. It was believable to an extent, but he wasn't sure if that just made him hurt more.

He usually calmed down when he got home, but not this time. This time it clinged to him. He could feel it in his veins, throbbing through him like a fire. The rage surged up, only to be met by sadness as he resented himself for feeling like this. It was pathetic. He had no excuse, Tobio didn't deserve this. He deserved someone better, someone that treated him with respect and didn't taunt him just because they were frustrated… and jealous. It was petty and Oikawa knew it, that's why it made him feel so shallow. His heart couldn't be whole because it was evil, he was evil, worse than any monster… he hated someone without reason. Why?

A knock at his door woke him from his thoughts. He wiped away dry tears before going to answer it, preparing to scowl at Iwaizumi for worrying about him. He ripped open the door.  
"Iwa-chan I'm fine okay, stop worrying and go home already…." Oikawa paled, cutting himself off. Standing there, visibly paled and shocked, was none other than Kageyama Tobio, the very person he'd been fighting himself over all afternoon. He bit back the distaste in his mouth with disgust, forcing himself to say something but the only thing to come out was in a mocking tone.  
"Tobio-chan, what are you doing here… You're Senpai isn't teaching you any more moves so leave."

Kageyama would have usually been compliant, hearing that from Oikawa, but instead he did something Oikawa never expected and stood a little taller, fists clenched and eyes narrowed. He was clearly challenging him, and Oikawa was too shocked to counter his stare.  
"Oikawa-san stop bullshitting me! I know something was wrong with you at that match today. You could have easily made any of those sets but you screwed up every one. Why weren't you playing seriously I want an answer, I didn't get a match out of you so I deserve at least that much." Kageyama's voice was firm, a firmness Oikawa had never seen him muster in that way before. The only thing he could compare it to was when his Kouhai used to yell at someone for being too slow to match his set, but now it was being used to forcibly strain the truth from among Oikawa's ocean of lies.

That was it. He felt it snap. It was a spear that stabbed through his heart, masking any love that he had there. He pinned Kageyama against the wall with so much force that the plasterboard cracked. He then set about landing a few good hits, including one to the side of Kageyama's face that left a stream of blood to fall from his lips onto his white training shirt. Oikawa stopped as soon as he realised there was no struggle. Kageyama was taking all of it, without a single word of protest. Just a soft expression on his features as hit after hit sent shockwaves through him. Oikawa managed to divert the last and hardest punch through the wall instead, setting fire to his hand as he was sure it almost fractured the bone… almost. There was silence for a couple of seconds before Oikawa came back to his senses, paling in realization.

"Are you done?" Kageyama's voice wasn't upset by any means, it was soft and understanding, and it made Oikawa sick.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Kageyama cut him off.  
"I think you did, the question is why? What have I done to you Oikawa? Whatever it was I'm sorry." Oikawa's heart broke again, this time the spear sliding out of it and leaving a gaping wound in its wake.  
"Nothing! You've done nothing!" Oikawa practically screamed. Tears streaming down his face, but coming from a place unknowing as there was only emptiness inside. He thrashed against Kageyama who grabbed his sides and held him still.  
"Then why?" His eyes were calculating. Like he was reaching into Oikawa's very soul for the answer, wading his way through endless deception to find it.

"Because I could never be as good as you and I hate myself for it." The truth of those words struck Oikawa before he'd even realised he'd said them. Everything drained away… they were like a rain that smothered the fire and Oikawa was grateful for it. At least now, after the longest time he could feel sad. He let his tears continue to stream as Kageyama limped inside his apartment, leading him over to his couch. He sat Oikawa down and looked at him with complete conviction.  
"Oikawa-san, I could never do what you do. You unite you're team and bring out the best in them like no one else can. I envy your abilities. I have to rely on my talent as an individual and try to be good enough for the others, whereas you can embody the abilities of your entire team. That's the ultimate goal for a setter. I hope you realize that."

Oikawa had gone silent over his Kouhai's outburst. Unsure whether to be impressed or grateful… or both. He was sure of one thing though. Kageyama had just single-handedly destroyed the chains on his soul and washed away the rot from his heart. He could feel the emotions he'd battled with all his life lift from him like a bad dream and for perhaps the first time he could feel content. He looked at his bruised Kouhai and muttered a question that made him truly fearful when it came to the answer.  
"Kageyama, will you stay a little longer?" For once he could be serious. It wasn't a façade, just raw emotion that was as pure as he'd ever been. The answer was also soft, too soft for what he was used to hearing from Kageyama.  
"Of course, Oikawa-san."


End file.
